We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
