so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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