she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
