As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
