dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
