this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
