I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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