I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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