My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
