That's when you crack a 10am beer
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
