I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
