Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
