I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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