We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pants are for mortals
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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