Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize