I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
