I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
