officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
