Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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