why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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