Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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