belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My liver just had a heart attack.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
