This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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