Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
