I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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