The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
