Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
