Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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