You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
