i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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