if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
