Say something about gay babies.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
