I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
