Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
