Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize