o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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