Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
