i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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