well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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