Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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