So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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