Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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