we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
50% drunk capacity currently
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
