All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
