The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
