Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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