All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
