I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
