Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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