and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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