I want to walk on stilts...naked
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just high enough for therapy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
