She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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