So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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