____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
