I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Less talking, more tequila
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
