I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
