I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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