Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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