His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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