Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
